A Billion Seconds Old

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TimeTimeSometime one of these days, I will become 1,000,000,000 (one billion) seconds old. Of course, being born tends to be a messy affair, it’s not an exact science, and then there’s all those pesky leap seconds to contend with — so the exact moment will just come… and go… in a heartbeat; I won’t even notice.

I remember being a bit apprehensive about the change of “prefix” when I turned 30 years old, but this time I just have this funny feeling, as if a billion little faeries follow me in the dark, their voices like the sound of tiny bells fighting for attention. I’d like to talk to each one of them, to reveal the bright spark that brought them into being for just a tiny second; but somehow I can never get close enough, all I can see are the patterns of swirling light.

But what will the next billion seconds bring? Well, I guess I have a few decades to discover that…


  1. I’ll drink for all of those seconds!

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  • Christianity: An invisible and all-knowing friend of mine made our male ancestor out of dirt, and made our female ancestor out of his rib, but our ancestors were tempted by a snake which was actually an enemy of my invisible friend and they ate a forbidden apple, so now all of us go to burn forever after we die unless we believe that my friend’s son’s blood is on us and in us and that this son died and rose zombie-like from the dead and floated up to heaven and sent his ghost to live inside of us. He is coming soon! Biblical Errancy list